I have done something today I have never done before. I travelled to see my Mother today on this date. I write this as I sit by her graveside. I guess I'm hoping it will bring some closure to a wound that still shoots pain throughout my soul. This is the first time in 29 years I've been with my Mother on this date. I miss her still so desperately. But I know she is still with me - although she lives on a different plane of existence as I. I know all those I've loved and lost this time of year are: Boo, Uncle Bob, Grandmommy, and Mom. I know they are with me because of the signs they send.
This morning I woke at 6:00am - approximately the time I woke up 29 years ago to the house of horror I discovered. I went to the door to go outside to smoke a cigarette and down a cup of coffee before I went off to work. And as I opened the door I was greeted very loudly by my feline friend Francis who all but jumped up into my arms after a loud barrage of "cat chatter!" I take that as a sign because I haven't seen him in over a week. I was afraid something happened to him! No, as before, he was sent to comfort me in my sadness. Sent to let me know I'm still loved and everything will be alright. Just keep walking in the light!
So instead of sequestering myself away as I usually do on 12/2 I am sitting at my Mother's gravesite sharing my thoughts with her as I write. I know she sees and hears me from the plane of her existence. And that makes me smile on this day - I love you Mom, and I miss you!
Michele Anne Wilson
6/1/47 - 12/2/86
