I've had old friends from times past reaching out with love to prop me up. And I feel it, and I am grateful. But the sadness of my loss keeps creeping in....
Every day I do my best to let go and push through. But this week has been extraordinarily rough. I think it started when I picked up a couple from a Christmas party Sunday night and was witness to a "make-out" session in my back seat. Two lovers enjoying the Holiday Season together. Since that night I cannot help but see couples walking hand in hand along My Beach. Sharing their love together and enjoying a sunset.
It hurts. The pain of my love, family, and life lost has swelled into an excruciating ache that I cannot seem to tamper down this Holiday Season. I find myself wondering what She is doing, and what the kids are up to, how the family Christmas will be at her parents' house... It is driving me into a mad and self destructive state. Work doesn't seem to bury my heartbreak this week. My eyes fill with tears driving down the road. I cried myself to sleep last night.... God, I just want to hold them all again!
I hate Christmas! I wish it would hurry up and be over so I don't have to listen to anyone else tell me that they "don't want to see anyone spend Christmas alone - that's just sad!"
No shit!
This hurt will too pass. Time will lessen its sting. Christmas will end as quickly as it came, and I'll go on healing on My Beach.
But the storm surge came back... With red tide this Christmas...
