Showing posts with label Universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Universe. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

On the Wings of Dragonflies

This was originally written as an entirely too long Facebook post in the wee hours yesterday morning, and I thought it deserved a better place to live as it really is more of a Blogpost. Thanks for reading!

For the most part I have managed to choke back my first instinct to publicly speak my mind when something temporarily takes me out of my happy pirate place and reminds me that I have very deep scars that still bleed. I will read something and then start to write some passive aggressive barb about it only to stop myself sometimes after writing it all out completely to then post for the whole world to see. And then I simply resign myself to say out loud to the Universe that it really doesn’t matter now does it? And I click delete.

The ones who wronged me and did their very best to destroy my life don’t care. So why give them any power.

A family that turned their back on me in a time where I was so lost I couldn’t even feed myself, and either lived in a crack invested slum motel with prostitutes for neighbors, the front seat of my broken down car, or shared a roof with roaches & rats for roommates in the back room of ghetto hovel. That “family” that has been non-existent in my life for 2 years and have no clue of the battle I fought to survive nor seem to care. So why give them that power over me.

But seeing this...

“The Dragonfly brings dreams to reality and is the messenger of wisdom & enlightenment from other realms”

It made me angry and moved me to write this post long after I should be in bed, except for this insomnia that likes to see just how long it can make my scars bleed before I can finally sleep. But in my sometimes sleepless life that I have been working to put back together for myself for 2 years I find that The Universe has indeed been teaching me lessons that now I can understand and make sense from.

This latest “Dragonfly” test makes the perfect example. Let me explain:

My Ex-Fiancé was big into Dragonflies. She claimed that the Dragonfly was her animal spirit and it was so very special to her because it represented metamorphosis and change. She identified with that, and hung her metamorphosis and change she’d experienced on how the theory that my presence in her life had changed her permanently for the better. In fact, the Dragonfly was so important to her I made it the very heart of my proposal speech I nervously delivered to her from Center Stage in front of a sold out audience during the curtain speech I delivered in the very Theatre where we first met. I went down on one knee when I called her to the stage to place a ring I custom designed to subtly symbolize a Dragonfly on her finger and asked her to be my wife, she said yes, the audience stood up in standing ovation, and then just 5 months later she destroyed my life plunging me into a Hell to be greeted at its door by my new roommates that the Orkin man should have evicted...

So, naturally my hackles went up at first glance of what the Dragonfly means and what it has brought me. But I passed the test for this lesson taught by the Universe. Because, according to what this says about the Dragonfly it is right on the money.

The Dragonfly brought my dreams of doing what I love more than anything on this planet to a reality. I get to be what I told my mother at 7 years old I wanted to be when I grew up. An actor. I make my living now performing onstage full time in the #1 rated show in Myrtle Beach, SC where I make memories for hundreds of thousands of people a year. And that same Dragonfly has indeed brought me messages of wisdom and enlightenment from other realms. For without this 2 year journey of self enlightenment which the Dragonfly has led me down, I would not have gained the wisdom bestowed upon me which I believe the Universe and my own Spirit Guardians have been attempting to teach me most of my life. It is no coincidence that I found this Dragonfly meme on my Facebook feed today of all days. It dawned on me as I compose this that today, October 2nd, 2017 would have been our first wedding anniversary had my life not changed so drastically as it had for me.

And with that insomnia releases its hold on me at this late hour. But before I bed down finally this night I would like to say one last thing. I would like to say a thank you.

Thank you Shannon. Thank you for bringing me the Dragonfly.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Day 123 - Brick & Mortar: The Foundation of Victory

I woke up this morning for the first time in a month with heat, and was able to take a hot shower. There are so many things we take for granted... Until they are stripped away from us. So, this morning I celebrate a victory! I am at last no longer homeless. I have secured lodging made of brick & mortar. And I finally have a physical address I can use where I will now call home for the foreseeable future!

I spoke with an old friend last week who had also fallen on hard times, not unlike myself. In our conversation I tried to convey to him positive thoughts and hope. It turns out positive energy found its mark for both of us: I found a home and he made his first commission on a new job! After we spoke and congratulated each other on our personal victories he wrote the following:

"Things I learned today:
The word "perspective" is from the Latin word "perspicere" meaning to see through. In other words, with the proper perspective you can see through all the bullshit that life has the audacity to send your way. 
Proper perspective leads to a proper outlook on life. This leads to seeing those yearly, monthly, weekly and daily victories. And by all means, when those victories come (I promise they will) never forget to spike the ball, do your end zone dance and celebrate."

When we spoke after he posted that he stated, "See, I was paying attention today when we spoke!"

And that really sums it up for me. No matter how awful things seem to be, someone somewhere is in an equally dismal situation. From the darkness of a rat infested and filthy hovel I held onto faith that life will get better and to not give up! And when he explained his state of depression and hopelessness I told him to give it one more day. That tomorrow brings new opportunities for us all. And to trust that a Higher Power has something better for us. Have faith. 

The next day brought victories for both of us; a new home for me, and a healthy commission for him. Victories that gave us both a revitalized strength to carry on, and a rejuvenated faith that the Universe IS listening.

And the light we walk in grows brighter, and I am dancing my happy dance in the end zone while my friend is spiking the ball over his own goal line!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Day 110 - Hope Springs Eternal... Many Happy Returns!

Tomorrow I will find myself walking this planet for 46 years, and I have found this birthday week filled with with a multitude of gifts. Not the kind one finds wrapped with eye catching, colorful paper - but gifts to be grateful for and celebrated. Gifts sent in the forms of signs from the Universe that I am finally in the right place to begin the rest of my life. Gifts of friendships, love, work, family, and signs of guidance and light. 

My soul continues to hum & vibrate like a tuning fork that is resonating with the world around me. The signs are everywhere every day and I find my psyche aligning with what the Universe is saying to me more with each passing day. 

Monday the Universe guided me into an up close and personal view of complete loss and devastation. 3 times. I was led through the neighborhoods of Rowlett, Texas where an F4 tornado leveled homes in a scene that I can only describe as what looked like a war zone. 3 times. And each of those times I was sent a message of hope amongst the devastation that laid before me. A young man suffering with a brain trauma, and two women in the final weeks of pregnancy. I was given examples of life and joy that were emerging out of desolation. 

The young man: suffering from a lifelong brain injury, and now homeless from the loss of his home, as well as the overwhelming pain in his head. Yet, he did not complain. He was grateful for the medical attention he was receiving and the temporary home made for him where we drove. He chatted happily the entire way like a chirping bird in a new dawn's light. 

The 2 women: 2 different rides given to them - One at the end of her 9th month of pregnancy with her 3rd child - a girl. And one midway through her 9th month with her 1st child - a boy. Both coming out of different sides of the neighborhood of destruction, and both glowing and joyous for the new life they are about to bring forth. 

Gifts to me from the Universe with a loud and clear message that Hope Springs Eternal. And each one leading me back through my past into Rockwall where I grew up. 

It was a day of fond memories for me. A trip down memory lane where I found joy in recalling childhood events I'd long forgotten. A torrent of happy memories poured out with every home I drove past in my old neighborhood. What's more, 3 different childhood friends reached out to me through Facebook Messenger just after I drove past their old homes where they grew up. More gifts given to me from the Universe. The best of which was hearing from Melissa, my oldest childhood friend, just minutes after I stood looking at her old home and laughing to myself about our past antics & adventures together that suddenly revisited my mind. We had lunch today, by the way. And she is still the same pretty little girl with the million dollar smile I grew up with but haven't seen in 30 years. Another gift!

Yesterday I picked up an old college class mate at DFW Airport. My Uber alert told me I had a passenger named Kathy (from NJ) requesting a ride. By chance I randomly got assigned the fare in the airport queue. Then, a 45 minute drive talking about our collective college friends. More joy and fond memories bubbling up into my brain! Again, a gift...

I've booked 2 acting jobs this week and will work a 3rd on Saturday with another college chum. More gifts!!!

2 random fares this week, both in the entertainment industry, and both who requesting my résumé. Additionally, both separately spouting off names of friends we had in common. Gifts - all!!!

And so, as I close my eyes for the final night of my 45th year, I celebrate my 1st half of life. I give thanks to all it has bestowed upon me - both its pain and its joy. Because it has made me into the man I am now. Taught me that which I need to wake up in the morning to begin my 46th year with joy, and cherish each day that follows for the next half of my life!